”The Gift of Self-Acceptance: Finding Your True Self in a Foreign Land"

Self-acceptance means accepting yourself for who you are. It means recognising not only your strengths and achievements, but also your faults and weaknesses, without denying them. This is not easy. Especially when living in a foreign country, it can be easy to lose sight of yourself. When I first started living in the UK, I often found myself thinking, "I used to do this in Japan" or "I should be able to do this better". This led to moments of self-criticism.

Living abroad is a unique environment where you are constantly faced with situations where your 'normal' doesn't apply. For example, language barriers and cultural differences can make it difficult to express your feelings or thoughts clearly. This can make you feel that others don't really understand or accept you. At such times, it's not uncommon to question your value. Thoughts such as "I'm not good at anything" or "I'm not enough" can take over and lower your self-esteem. What's needed in such situations is a perspective rooted in self-acceptance.

To deepen self-acceptance, the following practical steps can be helpful:

Identify your feelings

Start by observing and identifying your feelings, such as sadness, anxiety or frustration. Accept these feelings without judgement, as this promotes a deeper understanding of yourself.

Name your feelings

If you feel anxious or irritated, instead of asking "Why am I feeling this way?" and blaming yourself, try naming the emotion: "This is fear" or "I am feeling anger right now". Surprisingly, this simple act can help relieve the emotional burden.

Avoid comparing yourself with others

While living abroad, it may seem that locals or other expats are navigating life with ease, leading you to think, "I'm so clumsy compared to them. However, you don't know their personal struggles or how they overcame challenges. The only person you really need to compare yourself to is yourself.

Celebrate small wins and progress

Notice and acknowledge your daily achievements. Whether it's "I managed to go out today" or "I learned something new", every small step counts and deserves to be celebrated.

Practice gratitude

Get into the habit of noticing things to be grateful for each day. For example, "The weather was nice today" or "Someone was kind to me". Focusing on gratitude helps build a more positive outlook and supports self-acceptance.

Incorporating these practices into your daily life, even gradually, can help you to understand and accept yourself better.

Through my journey in counselling, I've learned the importance of not trying to change myself, but rather understanding and accepting who I am. For those struggling with the challenges of living abroad or navigating cultural differences, self-acceptance can be a transformative key to living more comfortably and authentically. As you begin to accept yourself, you'll also find that your interactions with others and your environment become more flexible and harmonious, allowing you to face each day with greater ease.

Self-acceptance doesn't happen overnight. There will be times when you feel burdened by past regrets or future fears. But by approaching each emotion and experience with care, you'll gradually reach moments when you can genuinely think, "I'm OK as I am. And if you need support along the way, don't hesitate to reach out to someone you trust or seek help through counselling.

Let's create your locus of life together!