"Anger’s Whisper: Discovering Your Inner Voice"

Have you ever found yourself feeling irritated and only noticing the negative aspects of the country you live in? I struggled with this overwhelming sense of frustration for over twenty years after moving to the UK. I was constantly complaining, and happiness felt completely out of reach. I often asked myself, *Why am I so angry all the time? * But the answer remained elusive.

Through my counselling studies, I came across the concept that "anger is a secondary emotion," and it was a revelation. Secondary emotions are those that appear on the surface, while underlying them are more fundamental, primary emotions. Anger is often a sign that something deeper in us has been hurt or left unfulfilled.

For example, when our feelings are dismissed or our expectations are not met, the underlying emotion may be sadness or loneliness. However, acknowledging these emotions can be painful, so anger emerges instead. Similarly, fear of the future or a sense of helplessness in the face of uncontrollable circumstances often manifests as anger. In other cases, feelings of rejection or lack of respect can wound our hearts, so anger arises as a form of self-protection.

Anger itself is not inherently negative; it's a signal from our inner self urging us to pay attention to something important. However, if we fail to explore what lies beneath the anger and either lash out or suppress it, it can lead to escalating stress and even damage our mental and physical health.

The turning point for me came when I began to look beyond the surface of my anger and embrace my feelings and myself. Accepting the imperfect version of myself, as well as the version that was struggling in a foreign country, without judgement or denial, was a crucial step. It wasn't easy, but as I slowly worked to understand my feelings, I began to notice aspects of life in the UK that I hadn't appreciated before. The small joys and positive experiences that had been overshadowed by anger came to light, and I found myself less and less consumed by frustration. Instead of suppressing my anger, I learned to explore the feelings behind it. This process became a powerful way of connecting with myself on a deeper level and uncovering what I was really feeling.

If you're facing similar struggles in your life abroad or in your daily life, I encourage you to stop and listen to the emotions behind your anger. You may discover a path to a renewed sense of self and a brighter perspective.

Why not take the first step on this journey to embrace yourself and explore the voice behind your anger? Together we can find what lies beneath and discover new possibilities.