Is Anxiety “Who I Am”? Reflecting on Emotional Struggles and Counselling Through Shiki Soku Ze Kū | Locus of Life

Have you ever felt that “being anxious” is simply part of your personality and cannot be helped?

When work pressures, relationships, and worries about the future overlap, you may find yourself thinking, “I get anxious so easily.” Over time, that experience can begin to feel as though it defines who you are.

“I’ve always been a worrier. I get anxious very quickly. I thought overthinking was just my personality.”

If you have ever blamed yourself or quietly resigned yourself to this belief, perhaps you might pause for a moment and gently consider a different perspective.

In this article, we explore how the Buddhist concept of Shiki Soku Ze Kū (form is emptiness) offers a compassionate way of understanding anxiety, emotional struggles, and counselling.

At Locus of Life, what I value is not eliminating anxiety, but becoming aware of how we relate to it.

A Scene from Counselling — “I Get Anxious So Easily”

“I get anxious so easily. I think it’s just my personality.”

One person said this with a slight sense of apology, and perhaps a quiet resignation. There were many reasons — work, relationships, uncertainty about the future. Yet as I listened, it felt less as though anxiety was something happening to them, and more as though anxiety and their sense of self had become intertwined.

For example, being asked a question in a morning meeting by a manager might cause their heart to race and their voice to tremble. Afterwards, they may replay the moment repeatedly, thinking, “I wasn’t prepared enough.” As such small experiences accumulate, a subtle shift can occur: “I am someone who is always anxious.”

In counselling sessions, it is not uncommon for emotions and struggles to gradually become linked to one’s identity or “personality”.

If we gently step back and widen our perspective, the phrase Shiki Soku Ze Kū begins to resonate quietly.

What Is Shiki Soku Ze Kū? A Perspective That Softens Anxiety and Emotional Distress

The phrase Shiki Soku Ze Kū may sound abstract or philosophical at first. Yet it can offer a deeply practical lens through which to understand anxiety, overthinking, and emotional distress.

In Buddhist thought, shiki (“form”) refers not only to physical objects, but to emotions, thoughts, and experiences — everything that feels real and tangible in our lives.

Kū (“emptiness”) does not mean “nothingness”. Rather, it points to the understanding that nothing possesses a fixed, unchanging essence; everything arises within conditions and is constantly shifting in relationship to other factors.

In other words, even the emotions we believe to be solid and permanent are part of an ongoing process of change.

Anxiety, anger, and self-critical thoughts are not permanently fixed traits of personality. They are “forms” that arise within particular conditions. They certainly exist here and now — and yet at the same time, they are processes that continue to change.

“The Me Who Becomes Anxious” Is Not the Same as “Anxiety Itself”

In counselling, we often hear phrases such as:

“I’m always anxious.”

“I get upset over the smallest things.”

At first, these are descriptions of experiences that occur. Yet gradually, they can solidify into a self-image: “I am an anxious person.”

Consider a parent who becomes irritable when their child resists doing homework. Or an employee who feels deeply discouraged for an entire day after an offhand comment from a colleague, spiralling into self-blame. These are experiences that arise in specific situations.

However, when repeated, they may become labels: “I’m short-tempered.” “I’m weak.”

In counselling, we gently explore questions such as:

Is the anxiety always the same intensity?When does it become stronger? When does it ease?

What circumstances, expectations, or fatigue might be contributing?

Gradually, what once appeared to be a fixed personality trait begins to reveal itself as something more fluid — shaped by context, relationships, and physical state.

Here we find the heart of Shiki Soku Ze Kū. Anxiety certainly exists. Yet it is not a fixed essence. It arises within conditions, and it changes.

Not Eliminating Emotions, but Observing Them — Counselling as a Space to Encounter “Emptiness”

Counselling is often thought of as a place to solve problems. That is certainly one aspect. Yet at Locus of Life, I value something prior to solutions: becoming aware of how we are viewing our own experience.

When we attempt to “get rid of” emotions, we often make them more solid.

But when we can say,

“Anxiety is arising right now.”

“Anger is beginning to surface.”

and observe them with a little distance, emotions begin to move again.

This does not mean dismissing or minimising feelings. Rather, it means recognising their presence fully — while understanding that they are not identical with who we are.

“Emptiness” in this sense is not cold detachment. It is a gentle loosening of the tightly held image of ourselves that has become entangled with our emotions.

Emptiness as the Opening for Change

If our personality and emotions were completely fixed entities, growth and recovery would be extremely difficult.

The understanding of “emptiness” suggests instead that:

Our current state is not permanent.

There is room for new understanding and new relationships to emerge.

In counselling, small moments of insight often soften the rigid narrative of “This is just who I am.” The centre of gravity — our locus — gradually shifts from external judgement and past assumptions back to present-moment experience.

Shiki Soku Ze Kū is not an invitation to take life lightly. Rather, it is an invitation to live with greater flexibility and compassion.

The anxiety you feel today certainly exists. And yet it is also a movement — something that arises within conditions and changes.

So we might gently ask:Is the feeling you currently call “me” truly a fixed and unchanging essence? Or might it be an experience that appears differently as conditions shift?

It may be from this quiet questioning that a new way of seeing begins.

Online Counselling at Locus of Life

At Locus of Life, I offer online counselling for those struggling with anxiety, overthinking, self-blame, and emotional distress.

You may:

• Become anxious very quickly

• Feel you are constantly overthinking (and describe yourself as a “worrier”)

• Struggle with self-critical thoughts that do not seem to stop

• Believe, “This is just my personality — it won’t change”

My online counselling provides a confidential and supportive space where you can reflect on your relationship with anxiety — from the comfort of your own home, wherever you are in the world.

I do not rush to eliminate anxiety. Instead, I gently explore your relationship with it alongside you.

If this perspective resonates with you, please feel free to get in touch.