How Should We Deal with Anger and Hatred? : Wisdom for Peace to Pass on to Our Children in an Unstable World

In an Unstable World, the Anxiety That Spreads Within Our Hearts

In recent years, the world has been shaken by war, conflict, natural disasters, and deepening social divisions.Even ordinary citizens find themselves wondering,“Will war eventually reach us?”“What kind of world lies ahead?”

News of war, disasters, terrorism, and social instability plants small seeds in our minds.Without us realising it, those seeds grow, becoming fear and anxiety that quietly spread from one person to another.

I do not want to pass on a world shaped by fear to our children.

That is why I am writing this blog.I want to pass on dignity and hope — not hatred — to the next generation.This is my sincere wish.

In times like these, many of us carry unspoken questions deep within our hearts:

• “When I feel anger, I don’t know what to do with it.”

• “How should I talk to children about war and distressing news?”

• “How can I accept myself when I feel hatred towards others?”

These are not problems faced by a few individuals.They are natural questions quietly held by many people living in an unstable world.

A Japanese Perspective: Choosing Peace, Again and Again

I was born in Japan, a country that has remained relatively peaceful, and I have lived my life without directly experiencing war.

Even after the unimaginable tragedy of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Japan did not choose resignation or despair. Instead, people entrusted hope to the future and continued to move forward.

Through this history, I have come to believe that those of us who belong to a generation that has not experienced war carry a particular responsibility — to understand the value of peace not only intellectually, but emotionally, and to pass it on to future generations.

Yet when we look at the world today, cycles of hatred persist: “They killed us, so we kill them.” “They took from us, so we take back.”

This is why our starting point must be clear. We begin by facing the wars within our own hearts — anger, fear, and hatred — and choosing to transform them.

Where Do Anger and Hatred Come From?

“When I feel anger, I don’t know what to do with it.”

Perhaps this feeling arises not because anger itself is wrong, but because we were never taught how to understand it.

Transforming hatred into a life-giving force does not mean suppressing anger or trying to forget it. It means facing the deeper layers of our emotions, understanding them, and allowing them to exist without rejection.

Anger and hatred are not emotions experienced only by certain people. Anyone who has faced injustice, profound loss, betrayal, or unfair treatment has felt them arise deep within.

When we think, “I want revenge,” “They deserve punishment,”we often criticise or deny ourselves for having such thoughts.

Yet emotions that are denied do not disappear. They change shape and remain within us as deeper inner conflict and contradiction.

How to Transform Anger and Hatred into a Life-Giving Force

To transform anger and hatred does not mean enduring them silently, suppressing them, or forcing ourselves to forgive prematurely. It means meeting our emotions honestly, with understanding and compassion.

Do Not Judge Your Anger or Hatred

The first step is to stop telling yourself, “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

Anger and hatred often arise because something deeply important has been lost, threatened, or violated.

Understand the Fear and Loss Beneath the Emotion

Ask yourself gently:

• Why am I angry?

• What do I feel has been taken from me?

• What fear lies beneath this feeling?

This process is known in psychology as self-reflection — a vital step in understanding the true meaning of our emotions.

Choose Creation Over Destruction

Next, we choose how to use this energy:

• To harm others

• To create healthy boundaries that protect ourselves

• Or to transform it into action that serves society and the future

This final choice is the essence of transforming hatred into life-giving power.It means acknowledging the darkness within us and patiently turning it towards the light.

This process is not completed once and for all. Each time emotions arise, we return to them, gradually releasing what no longer serves us. In doing so, the heart becomes stronger, calmer, and more flexible.

Those who can hold their own hatred with understanding become deeply sensitive to the pain of others.Transforming hatred is one of the most profound forms of personal growth — and a quiet way of passing peace into the future.

The Wisdom of Choosing Peace Passed Down Through Generations

After defeat in war, amid loss, grief, and despair, Japan’s predecessors chose not destruction, but creation.

They did not merely survive. They rebuilt their lives from ruins, protected their families, learned skills, worked tirelessly, and reconstructed society. Because their pain and anger were real, each step they took carried profound meaning.

Their strength did not come solely from being victims of war, but from the courage to face their own inner darkness.By confronting their grief and anger without turning away, they transformed inner struggle into constructive force in the world.

This is what we can learn from them:the ability to accept pain and anger, and to transform them into growth and contribution.

I feel deeply grateful and proud to have inherited this legacy. And I hope to pass this wisdom on to our children — not only through words, but through lived experience.

What We Want to Teach Our Children

What we wish to pass on to children is not merely abstract advice such as “be kind.”

We want to teach them the wisdom to understand their own anger and sadness, and to transform those emotions into strength for the future.

Developing the Ability to Observe Emotions

When emotions arise, instead of denying them, children can learn to recognise,“ I am feeling this way right now.”

Transforming Feelings into Compassionate Action

Those who understand their own pain naturally develop empathy for the pain of others.

The way we live as adults — how we hold our own anger and fear — becomes the deepest message we pass on.

Teaching this process is more than moral education. It nurtures emotional stability, self-understanding, and social empathy at the same time.

By living with respect and compassion, even while carrying difficult emotions, we allow children to experience what peace truly means.

What Counselling Can Offer

Through counselling, I support people in transforming anger and hatred into life-affirming strength.

In counselling sessions, we do more than simply talk. We carefully explore the pain, fear, and inner conflict beneath emotions.

• Accepting oneself without self-blame

• Understanding the roots of anger and grief

• Transforming emotional energy into self-protection, respect for others, and constructive action

Psychologically, this process involves self-awareness and emotional integration. It is a practice of turning inner darkness into light — one that can fundamentally improve quality of life.

As this capacity grows, peace is not only cultivated within the individual, but quietly shared with families, communities, and society.

Peace Begins in Each Individual Heart

We cannot change the world all at once. But when each person learns to face anger and hatred within themselves and transform them into respect and compassion, that change reaches the next generation.

The wisdom passed down by the Japanese people — the courage to transform anger into strength and to choose peace — is not merely historical knowledge.It is a way of living that must be practised within our hearts, again and again.

The most precious thing we can pass on to our children is not words, but our way of being —a life lived with inner balance, dignity, and respect.

Peace is not a distant ideal. It begins quietly, within each individual heart.

If carrying anger, hatred, or anxiety alone feels overwhelming, counselling can offer a safe space to organise these emotions and transform them into strength for living.

At Locus of Life, we value a process that does not deny anger or hatred, but gently explores the pain and fear beneath them — helping people live with dignity and integrity.